Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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