VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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