Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize