Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
