the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
soo... how was my night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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