i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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