I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize