I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
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I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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