Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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