cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
