It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
What drink are we having for lunch?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
