It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
