he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
