yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
