She is in my trunk
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
