the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION