How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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