wanna go halves on a baby?
I think I won the penis lottery.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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