nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Im part way to drunk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
