I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That accounts for only three of the penises
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON