just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?