she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great