cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
