I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
