Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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