Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
oh god the rape fog is back!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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