I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
