Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
