i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
