I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
