hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
