bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize