i jhust puked up my retainher.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
