Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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