i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
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So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.