Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
