Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary