Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
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I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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