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Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
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