Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably