Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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