He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
