He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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