Can i not drive my cunt home
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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