You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
