I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
