Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
