You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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