Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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