The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I looked at my own cervix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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