Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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