Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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