I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
