I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
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I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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