I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize