I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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