My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
