I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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