she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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