He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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