He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
