woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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