No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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