I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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