We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
